...blindside

Well.... just yesterday I was posting how thankful I was for this week of parent-teacher conferences. I was anticipating opportunities to reach parents and discuss concerns, hopes, goals, and have a purposeful exchange that would leave the parents and myself feeling positive about the direction in which we are headed. These conferences can be stressful and tense because sometimes you are telling parents things they don't want to hear. But usually, in my brief 6 years of experience, even stressful conferences end with positive thoughts and plans for working together for the benefit and success of the student.

I had 20 conferences in 2 days. 19 of them were productive, positive, and left me feeling like I was going to be able to really help some students who are struggling not only academically, but personally as well. But there was one BLINDSIDE...

I knew it was going to be an assassination when the parents walked into my room and kicked out the wooden block that holds the door open. Things unfolded at such a rapid rate, it was all I could do just to maintain composure. Thirty minutes later, the couple left. They had double-teamed me with accusations of unfair grading practices, doubting my qualifications, questioning my assignment choices, accussing me of refusing to meet and discuss a missing assignment with their child, and excusing their students' poor work as a direct result of being bored in my class. They were asking questions that caught me completely off guard and as I tried to remain calm and compose an answer, they would lose patience and at one time even said they "don't have time for me to explain as they have a babysitter who was about to turn into a pumpkin" (yeah, being "cute" wasn't cute at this point...). I was proud of myself for not crying, not buckling, not making excuses or admitting to making mistakes that I really didn't believe were mistakes. I was rattled, definitely. But I think what hurt the most, was that this was a couple who has gone out of their way to be friendly in the past. They've been supportive and encouraging. They are christians who make their christianity very public. So while my feelings were really hurt by all that they said and did, I was just as upset by the fact that they let me down. These parents that seem to care so much about humanity and make public displays of charity-- an unexpected element of their character showed through and I was extremely disappointed. What makes people like this become bullies? What makes people like this think it's okay to treat others the way that they did? There were so many other ways their concerns could have been addressed. Why did they feel the need to blindside me?

So, in spite of having a good cry after they left my classroom, not sleeping very well that night, and waking up the next morning hearing their words of frustration, anger, and accusations play over and over and over in my head... there were several things that came to mind as blessings. I am thankful for a supportive principal who explained to these parents that he has absolutely no concerns about my teaching ability, grading practices, or any instructional decisions I make in the classroom. I am thankful he didn't believe their accusation of my refusal to meet with their student. I am thankful for my assistant principal that told me I don't have to take that kind of treatment from parents and literally gave me the words to say if I ever find myself in that kind of situation again. I am thankful for my co-workers that reminded me of the fact in 6 years and hundreds and hundreds of students, this is the only set of parents that has felt I'm doing a poor job (or expressed it, anyway!). I am thankful for Mark & Lori Brown who had to follow that conference. I'm thankful for Lori's hug, their understading, and for giving me a minute to dry my eyes and regain some composure. I am thankful for Brett and the fact that I had to pull myself together to get to his student-led conference- at which he did such a good job sharing his progress, goals, and explaining what he's doing in fifth grade. I am thankful for Dennis and the hug I received, the supportive words he gave me, and the date he's taking me on Saturday night. I am thankful for my mother and the prayers she said for me after Dennis shared with her what had happened. I am thankful for my god who heals hearts that are hurting and egos that are bruised. Yes, thanks to the blindside, I have found new things for which to be thankful- things I didn't realize were there.